CLASSIC STAR TREK RETURNS TO THEATERS AND I DON'T CARE

Man, there was a time when I would have killed to see any of the classic episodes of Star Trek (aka TOS - The Original Series) on the big screen. So, when I saw on Fanboy.com that in November Paramount was releasing a remastered version of the two-part Star Trek Classic episode The Managerie to movie theaters around the country for one night only, I thought to myself, "Hey, cool! I'll go see that!"

I followed a link to the official site and discovered just which theaters in LA would be screening the classic 2-parter featuring the story of the previous captain of the Enterprise.

Now, I should say that at one time, I was a HUGE fan of Star Trek. I moved to Los Angeles with the objective of writing for one of the spin-off series and while I did submit, I didn't sell (my script was good, clearly it made sense for them not to buy it). That didn't stop me from enjoying Trek until it really started peeing down its own leg. In fact, I think the descent of Star Trek was worse than the descent of Star Wars. Lucas gave his franchise a big sledge-hammer-to-the-head. The damage was instant and the final descent was quite fast, over just a few years.

Star Trek on the other hand was good up until a couple years into DS9 and maybe a year into Voyager Then it was like watching a loved one die slowly of some sort of degenerative cancer. Then, once those shows went off, Enterprise came on and was even worse--it was like that same loved one dying of cancer now had Alzheimer's. Then I hear that the same retard who made the last Mission Impossible movie (which was just shit) is going to "remake" Star Trek and tell the story of Kirk and Spock at the academy.

Now, I was such a geek that I still remember how impossible it would be to tell that story. Why? Because Spock is about fifty years older than Kirk when the original series begins! Spock was assigned to the Enterprise before Kirk!

And if that's not enough for you, did I mention that the same guy who killed off Phillip Seymour Hoffman with a truck driving by Tom Cruise at JUST the right moment is going to be directing Star Trek XI?

And NOW they decide to pull a Blade Runner and release a remastered version of The Menagerie on the big screen AND it's only running one night in Burbank and Century City--both theaters are crappy multiplexes.

I just feel like shrugging at the whole thing. Century City is a fifteen minute drive from my apartment. I saw Speed in the same theater when I lived in South Central LA.

You know what that means?

It means I wanted to see Speed in the theater, back then, more than I want to see Star Trek Classic in the theater now--and I hated Keannu Reaves movies back then...

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